so here i am

i lost my job yesterday. i havent decided how i quite feel about that. if its possible to be over seasoned and bland at the same time, similiar to the shit turkey burger i used to sling at my previous place of employment, thats how i feel. but ya know also. im more than a shit turkey burger. i have a lot of potential, and getting axed, while extremely scary and very ill timed is the last thing i believe keeping me from being who i really should be. definition is on my horizon at the moment. taking a little of this and that forming it into something real and tasty and wonderful. like a burger i guess. come on i did work in a burger joint for the last six years. but that is all it was. a burger joint. keeping me fulfilled and spoiled and safe, and now its gone and im still here.

i decided yesterday to begin a blog starting day one on what will be the beginning of the real thing. finally. after 15 years of figuring it out. by committing to this published public little piece of reality, i havent got a chance to turn back. and why would i?

so far i havent done the things i was supposed to do this morning. stretching meditating and such. but i didnt do that. but i didnt drink coffee, and im fastly hydrating myself and im trying fiercely not to wallow in self pity and that is a very big start. well see about morning meditation tomorrow.