Super Hero Cow

I like to collect things.  I don't know why it didn't occur to me that i have this little habit until now.  When I was a little girl I liked to collect porcelain carousel horse music boxes,  but even before that i would visit my grandparents in Little River every summer and go to a store called Callahan's and buy pencils with smelly erasers.  When I hit puberty I think I chucked the horses,  deeming them little girlish and started collecting gargoyle statues.  That lasted through a lot of high school.  The whole time I'm gathering these specifics,  I'm also acquiring little wooden boxes.  I liked to have things to put things in.  Even after college when I moved to the beach I started collecting little cow statues dressed up like different things.  Theres one that looks like Merlin the Wizard and another one that looks like a Silver Toaster and still another that was dressed up like a Ballerina complete with a feather tutu.  And its Spring and I'm throwing out a lot of things and:

Cut to me pulling a purple bag filled with these cows out of the back of my closet and thinking about how I got here.  It never occurred to me that I collected things till that moment.  Moving to New York with a dozen porcelain cows,  each with a large black and white box was something.  It wasn't much when you lived in the south with unlimited space for your junk,  but living in New York is a different story.  Once I decided I didn't want a cow parade in my living room,  they moved to the closet and then moved apartments with me and had things dropped on them or were dropped themselves and here I am pulling them out of this bag and some have lost their ears and horns and others are missing hooves,  all the palm trees on the cow dressed up like a day at the beach have broken off.  

Then I start thinking about the gargoyles,  I still have a few in my bathroom,  and the boxes which I still stash cash in sometimes and I'm throwing all these poor damn cows in the trash and finding the ones that are still OK and putting them down in my lobby for someone else to collect and Ive even kept a few specials ones.  My mom got me one from Vegas,  this other one is dressed up like day of the dead and then theres the Super Hero Cow.  He has a cape and a mask and Ive just noticed this second that he has a debonair hairstyle and he's so cute.  But I have to let him go,  what am I doing with a Super Hero Cow.  I guess the real question is why do I have all this stuff?

Collecting things happen for a bunch of different reasons.  Some people just do it for fun,  or they are collecting things which are expensive.  I don't think that collecting things are necessarily bad, it can be really nice to have a hobby.  But it can become compulsive and that imbalance is when you need to look a little deeper into why you collect like you do.  Some people are looking to fill a void with material possessions or working with a compulsive urge to have all of something.  It can be about control or grounding and filling needs and I'm  not quite sure where my collective urges lie but I do know that it was really hard to let all my cows go even though they've been in my closet for years.  I just didn't want them to be unwanted or unloved and I guess having the cows,  or the horses or the gargoyles was my way to let the little figurines shine,  give them their moment in the sun,  before they return back into the collective consciousness of the universe or the trashcan whichever comes first.  So today,  before I send my Super Hero Cow back into the wilderness that is New York,  hoping he can make it on him own and that someone else finds and loves him,  I'm giving him his moment. Cause that's what we all want.  A little moment to have people see you and love you.  So,  here ya go cow,  I loved you and I'm setting you free.